When someone asks me why I like baseball so much better than their favorite sport, one of the first things I can think of to answer with is that there is no clock. Clocks in sports suck, and the unfortunate reality is that they are a necessary evil in most of them. There has to be some kind of time limit or else the game just goes on forever. Baseball is different, and blesses us with the natural symmetry that allows teams to each get an equal and fair chance to win while bringing the game to a natural conclusion that doesn’t rely on time running out. Whenever someone tells me how much more exciting football is compared to baseball, I tell them I will never agree until Aroldis Chapman can just take a knee in the bottom of the 9th and end the game instead of pitching to Mookie Betts.

So I suppose it is not surprising that I am against the pitch clock idea. Vehemently so even. It goes against everything I love about baseball. If you read my article on pace of play, you already know that I don’t give a tin whistle if we can shave 4 minutes off the average game time by implementing a pitch clock. Even if I did care and I desperately wanted to spend those 4 minutes working, socializing, or doing something else that sucks way more than watching baseball, the pitch clock is still the wrong way to go about it.

It’s not that I’m completely immune to the anxiousness other people feel when they see some overpaid pitcher standing around forever, faking to first, getting a new ball, and shaking off 4 signs before tossing the next pitch. I disagree with them, but I understand. Putting them on the clock isn’t just going to fix that problem and leave everything else the same. Now the base runner knows when the pitch will be delivered. So does the hitter. What do we do about the hitter who stands with one foot in the box adjusting his batting gloves until the pitch clock gets down to three seconds? What about the many situations that arise during a ballgame where for some reason there are breaks between pitches for longer than 20 seconds? Something as simple as the ball boy running out to deliver the home plate ump a fresh dozen baseballs will have to be accounted for. We might even have to interrupt the game (and pause the pitch clock) for the manager to argue with the umpire about when the pitch clock should run and when it shouldn’t.

My favorite solution would be to simply leave well-enough alone and just continue to enjoy the game the way it has been played since before digital clocks were invented. Tom Hanks said there was no crying in baseball, but he clearly hasn’t been listening to all the crying about how long pitchers take between tosses. However, if something needs to be done to please the umps and broadcasters who want shorter games, I think we are already doing it. Having the pitch clock running in the minor leagues gets players used to a certain rhythm and time-frame. We don’t need a fundamental rule shift that will drastically affect a variety of strategic elements of baseball and alter the basic format of the pitcher vs. hitter dynamic. We just need to get the players used to picking up the pace a little bit, and then go back to not caring about a few second delay here or there. As slowpokes like Rick Porcello age and retire, they will be replaced by pitchers who have been working with a clock since they were in little league. Their natural rhythms will pick up the pace of play on their own, without the need for a stupid rule that nitpicks the best players over a few seconds. In the meantime, stop being such crybabies and enjoy the game!